#i gave it to my fiancé
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Best Christmas gift ever!
Everybody is a Lestappen fan! Even Carrera!
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lestappen#carrera#i gave it to my fiancé#everybody is a lestappen fan#merry christmas everyone
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sometimes, i envy those who have never seen the lxl repaint dance.
this is, however, not one of those times. enjoy.
#raise your hand if you remember this nonsense from guerilla lives!!!!#the pre-final chorus squat still lives rent-free in my mind tbh.#they couldn’t even commit to the squat. that’s hilarious yk#it’s the worst dance. right up there with hitsuyou and fiancé and tsuki no hime#i cant even s t a t e how quickly my smile faded while watching the tsuki no hime dance lmao#at least fiancé gave a good laugh#funniest dance is still chiisana lion (ft minami) though. minami’s dances were hilarious in gen. the stupid hip thrusts and arm pumping…#(yes im feelin a little more ‘normal’ now… will be back to being annoying tmr thoughhhhhhh)
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Mr Noakes my beloved
I love him so fucking much he deserves everything and to be free from Murkoff ( bonus headcanon: his fav color is orange)
#outlast#outlast trials#cornelius noakes#Mr Noakes#I love him and tango#I’d kill for both of them#I need him to be free and to be married to his fiancé#FREE HIM#FREE HIM AND TANGO DAMNIT#oh Murkoff how I depiseeee you fuckers#grrrrr Murkoff#I hate Murkoff so fucking much words can’t even describe it#but back to the beautiful art#I gave him a nose highlight bc he’s an icon like that#ignore the purple red n black thing in the corner that’s a part of another drawing I have in my sketchbook#alcholmarkers#traditional art
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oh my good the way you draw the prince is absolutely adorable
I am extremely flattered but also feel bad because I didn't really draw him as good as I could have ((because his body is basically used for a punchline lmao)) so I made you a slightly better MS Paint Prince for your kind words
#I tried my best to make something nice with just the pencil and eraser tool lmao I feel like i'm in 2007 again#I also tried to give him a? pained smile? I can't see this dude being super fairytale happy happy#you'd be in pain too if your fiancé bleached your hair in your sleep and gave you shit about liking your favorite food more than them#ahit#ahit prince#a hat in time
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Be honest with me yall…I’m considering getting cardboard cut outs of Ateez for my wedding next year. Is that doing to much? My first dance ends up being me and Mingis cardboard cut out😂😭. My fiancé deep down knows he’s sharing me with 8 other men.
#ateez#justaaaveragereader thoughts#my fiancé knew what I wassss#my lover and me wind up having the 9th dance#bc I gotta dance with the 8 members first 🏃🏼♀️#my sister gave me this idea as a joke#GIRL ITS NOT A JOKE NO MORE#dreamy day and light WILL be played at my wedding#This is how I secretly force my family to become atinys😭😂
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So the Fell Xenologue... huh...
#alfred#alear#alfred x alear#alfred fe enagage#fe enagage#fe17#fell xenologue#the evil dragon brings back your dead previously corrupted and then put to rest friends#and they're corrupted by him (again) and they each thank you and joyfully welcome death when you kill them#oh boy nil you better run#because that right there is an alternate universe version of her best friend ( - or if you gave him the pact ring which I did - fiancé)#and he was in tears about how happy he was that he was killed and he was finally finally at rest#aaaa#this made me so upset#nil#nil my man#my sweet evil and confusing character of a man#you better run#because alear is now angry#Fire emblem spoilers
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Thinking about pw!Joel’s eyes & how much pw!Etho loves them. In most lighting, they are so deep, so rich, they are nearly black, like freshly tilled soiled, soft. Etho could legit get lost in them if he let himself. But then, the first time he sees Joel in bright sunlight, he catches a glimpse of his eyes & almost stops breathing. Fully illuminated, they glow like polished mahogany, bright & warm, with threads of rich gold. & god are they pretty, so devastatingly beautiful, & Etho is just so deeply glad that he gets to see both sides of them.
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Why was Sidon so out of character? Why did Sidon get to speak less to Link than the others did during their quests? Why is every other sentence clearly pointing towards Sidon and Link being partners for life and then not delivering on it? Why is Sidon only in character when he's talking about/to Link? Why was Link with Sidon when he was crowned king in front of the whole domain and Why didn't Sidon just say "and my wife" like he deliberately said "and my life partner" knowing Link was right there and Sidon didn't even try to gesture towards Yona. Did Nintendo just queer bait us so hard they accidentally did a 180° and made it gay again?
#totk spoilers#in my heart yona doesnt exist#mostly because they gave her NO personality except to be shoehorned in as sidon's fiancée#sidon and link got married in totk though like that is 100% what i watched happen#it was just very round about and awkward
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Thinking about how Lan Zhan watched the love of his life throw himself off a cliff, and then spent the next 16-20 years (depending on the adaptation) looking for his body and mourning him while raising his son and never once considered siding with the people who hated Wei Ying because he kept holding onto the hope that maybe one day, even if it was in another life, he’d get to see him again, and that if he did get the chance to see him again, he would not hesitate to stand by him and give him all the love and support he wasn’t able to give him while he was dead. That’s what I call being soulmates.
#I have so many feelings about them#I tried to think what I would do for 16-20 years if I saw my fiancé disappear in front of me#I bet lan zhan spent the whole 16 years wearing only white even after lan xichen tried to convince him that the mourning period had passed#it wouldn’t surprise me if jgy or jc gave him dirty looks for continuing to mourn wwx#mdzs#gmdc#cql#the untamed#lan zhan#lan wangji#wei ying#wei wuxian
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#“’these would do NUMBERS on tumblr”’ - my friend Anna#we went urban exploring and my fiancé gave my a machete for protection 💀#I told her I’d post them#just to prove her wrong lol#the boys went fishing while the girls went adventuring#we found the cutest lol puffball flower#personal#2014 tumblr#original content#me#self#adventure#urban exploration#tattoos#grunge#aesthetic#tattooed girls#tumblr girls#alt girl#alternative#alt#alt aesthetic
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Guava is the cure to depression
#my coworker gave me a piece of candied guava and it made the rest of the shift ok#also guava and cheese is just v good#I'd been crying on my lunchbreak because I realized that with this breakup means the loss of the ps4#which means loss of ac odyssey#which means no more emotional support Brasidas#because my laptop can't handle the game despite me getting it last year TO HANDLE GAMES#and my sapphic roommate who may or may not be my fiancée now is in the mental hospital again#and she didn't give me rent money#but candied guava? fixed 90% of my emotional problems#I'd like to thank the Latinas for existing#sincerely your fellow Latine
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Y'all my new vocal stim is Mischa Bachinski's entire monologue and I hate it its so tiring to do but fuck its so much fun
#yoooo I want to talk about feeling. Ukrainian men have two emotions#rage and passion. people always be hating on me just because I am best#rapper in all northeastern Saskatchewan. grab your dicks if you're in the 306!#you might also know me as#bad egg on the youtube#what? I am well known there#that is where I met my shorty#she is from Kyiv in my country and she gave me#mostly positive feedback on my YouTube comment wall#and then we became mad passionate all night lovers on Facebook twitter#we made love in my native language on all the major social media platforms#we were engaged she was my fiancé and#too much passion#now rage#I have no respect for this country#fact do you want to know what this Canada is leading supplier of to whole world?#two things mustard seeds and uranium#that's good for hotdogs yes but not so good for ukraine#so thank you for killing my mother and for indirectly killing me#I feel the rage and when I rage I rap about money in autotune#autotune will never die hit the beat#mischa bachinski#ride the cyclone#ride the cyclone musical
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#holy shit#i just sent an email to my boss where I gave my one-month notice#i am about to have a panic attack#i literally turned down the volume on my phone lol#i don't wanna get a call#it's friday and I am sick and I wanna forget everything about this#i think i will ask my fiancé if he wants to celebrate lmao#something to keep my mind off of this#and ill put my phone on airplane mode lmao#this past week has been insane#ive been hit by a car#had everyone at work complain that i didnt go to work bc i got. literally#hit by a car????#and then i got a horrible cold#and my colleague trying to make me come back today#even tho i cant even drive my car bc of the pain#not to mention me being like#extremely sick#i just#im done#i cant deal with this#everyones been telling me to quit#so now i did#:)
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It sucks going through the whole process of making your coffee, only to get to the end of it and take a taste and something tastes off 😭😭😭.
#I think it was the cold foam I had used#my roommates fiancé keeps buying more than we need 😭#I need to go through them and see which have expired I guess 😔#but yeah… gave up on coffee and just poured myself some juice for today#no caffeine run lets go#(I’ll probably get a soda for lunch bc of this…. or go steal some sweet tea from my mom’s lol)
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Wish version of Negasonic on the Fortnite shop rn just FYI
#sorry for my ugly ass ceiling light and the glare it causes… my fiancée is working on homework right now#she’s cheeked up too 🥵#yes I gave her Deadpool’s katanas as a back bling
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I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.
I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.
This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.
Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.
But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.
Here’s who was on the dating roster:
• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.
• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.
• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.
And finally,
• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.
So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.
Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.
She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.
“Do you want it?”
“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”
But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.
So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.
I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.
I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!
What about the table?!
“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”
Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.
There on my doorstep. The table.
It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.
“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.
“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”
“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”
“Make me an offer.”
I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.
This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.
“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.
I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”
They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.
But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.
“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.
With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.
It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.
So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.
I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!
Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”
I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.
For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.
Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.
It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”
“Did you like it?”
“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”
My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.
Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.
“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”
“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.
So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.
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